a colored spectrum

this evening

thought alot this evening on my way home... i won't say that they were random thoughts, but more so, a good deal of observations of my surroundings and self-reflections that motivates me to think more broadly and seek a deeper meaning of my existence.

life without God's guidance is purposeless, and meaningless. should i not reflect on my past actions and consequences, i would never learn valuable lessons. be less eager to point blame at others, mirror one's deeds and actions first. should i not comtemplate about my life and its events, i would never know whether i am on the right path that He has planned for me; i would never be able to make sense of the society, people and happenings. such as, why do people react in a certain manner when they meet something, why do people like to act in the holier-than-thou attitude, why do nations go to war when they talk shit about world peace. these series of various micro and macro events tend to welcome me to contemplate their significances, how i can learn from their mistakes, and adopt their winning points.

i am not preaching God's teachings to any reader now, neither am i trying to convert anyone. these are just my opinions and revelations. friends who know me know that i don't go to church on a regular basis, i am not that holy, neither do i preach nor judge others and their religious life. simply coz i am in no position to do so. i am still trying my best to be a better Christian in my little ways.

1. i don't regret past decisions and events. many have been unfortunate. many have been rough patches. but, i emphasize, they don't hinder my present living and decisions. past failures, disappointments and hurts have only made me emerge from the dark shadows a stronger person. forgive, but never forget.

2. i learnt that, only when you are happy and contented with what you are undergoing, then it is an intended purpose executed as blessed by God. say, if you are unhappy and miserable with this someone in a relationship, you have a lousy unsatisfying job, not enjoying a single bit of whatever you are doing. then, that clearly illustrates that you are not walking on the intended path that God has so carefully laid out for you! you walking on a human-decided path(ie. a decision made out of your own accord, which of course is faulted..) a decision or executed move thatwas never meant to be in God's purpose for you!

God's plans for you were already laid out even before you were born! by walking on the path he laid before for only you, you are fulfilling the unique purpose that he has created for you.
how do you be sure? that is when you are truly happy, contented and fulfilled by what you are doing, by who you are with. when your mind, heart, and soul are filled with the holy trinity, which is Love, Peace, Hope and Joy. it is God blessed.

3. having through bad experiences only makes one more cautious and wary of people and surroundings. i don't deny that. in fact, it has made me a better person. i've began to realize what are my priorities for the present, in building a concrete foundation for the near future.
time is very precious so make the best out of it. spend less time on needless entertainment : movies, fun activities, friends etc. well, boyfriend included at certain times. focus on difficult yet fulfilling task : sch work. family. self-developement. learn to say "no".

4. opportunities come along like a box of chocolates being passed round the dinner table. each person only gets to choose once. but regardless of what they have picked themselves, whether sweet or bitter, dark or milky, they would never be satisfied! to human who inherently have insatiable desires, that piece of chocolate that others have would always be better than whatever they hold on their hand, melt in their mouths. no one ever relish and savour the sweetness or bitterness of their own chocolate, enjoying its taste to the fullest.

5. i am a person with less words. i choose not to say, but to listen intently. listen to what people have to say, form your own views but keep it to yourself. let time tell who is the wiser of the crowd. humble yourself, make yourself not the center of attention. one day, you would be exalted for your wise opinions and patience in listening. when i don't speak, doens't mean that i am unhappy. just that i am in my own train of thoughts, obeserving and evaluating what you are saying.

right now, i am trying my best to become a better student to be more organized and conscientious in my studies. give it enough time, effort and attention. i do not believe in hard mugging but sheer understanding and application of theories, concepts and examples, relating it back to reality. i am trying to cut down on unneccessary expenses and lead a more frugal life. material luxuries are mere temporal delights, you would lose the novelty in no time. i am trying my best to become a better Christian. to not judge people, not critisize matters not of my concern. to love more graciously, to serve others more willingly. ask unto myself what i ask of others. to communicate with God more, through sermons attendances and reading of the holy scriptures, praying that God would enlighten me in His time and accordance that i would come to serve in His purpose. never lose my faith and trust in Him, ultimately, through my own words, thoughts and deeds of living life adhering to His teachings, bring more people to God.

*specially for Joshua*
no worries, you didn't spoil my evening nor my mood. i just tend to keep quiet when i am sorting out my thoughts and forming my own conclusions. do not fear nor doubt, for those negative thoughts would unconsiously alter your actions and shaken your faith and confidence.

posted by Veen @ 05:41